Tsunami

So many have happened for the past few days. Its rather scary, that so many can happen in just a mere few days. Sigh. How I really wish that it will be like a tsunami. A heavy one, but also a fast one. Unhappiness really set in this few days. I can hardly remain happy. Seriously. I guess that's the real me.

Last year I have to worry about a girl who did the same thing. This year I have to worry about my lil' bro, who did the exact same thing. But its getting serious. I turned to everyone I could. Ask for solution and consequences and I hope you really will change. I ain't trying to take the place of your parents I hope you understand. I may not be your perfect sis. But I'm trying. All I know is I can't give up on you. I can't. I cannot leave you all alone. I know how is it feel to be given up by almost the whole world. But yea, you fell down. By nature I should have let you get up from your original fall position. But it seriously difficult to get up, I know. That's why I'm trying my best to lend you a helping hand. But if you think that I'm a irritant. I'm sorry. I will just stand back and watch. But I'm sorry. I can never ever leave you alone. I'm sorry that I've been a lousy sis. I'm really sorry. But remember, I'll always be there for you. Be it morally or just that me praying for your safety. Be safe.

Cca is a disaster. Its so messy right now. I don't know what we do to deserve this. Its really tiring. Be it quarrels between you and me or she and him. It just doesn't seems to end. Oh God.
I'm tired. Why can't we be like any other happy cca. Why.

How I wished I'm a boy. There will be no distance between friendship. I just don't understand why a boy and a girl can't be an extremely good friend? Why? Why? Just because, its wrong seeing a boy and a girl too close? Its totally illogical. It makes no sense at all.

I really wish that they will let go of me. Let me do whatever I want. Be it piercing, changing of school, lesser curfew. Believe me, one day. If I really break down. I'll just listen nothing to you. I respect you. That's why I listen. Don't make the respect I have for you disappear. Don't.

Life's hard.
All of the bad things come at one go. Even at the most important point of my sec3 year or my family.
Bro's wedding is coming. Everyone is busy preparing. I can't talk to anyone. I need someone to honestly talk everything and anything about. Not just someone who discourages and reprimanded me for everything. Or someone who just doesn't care and kept on playing computer.
MYE's coming. I guess top10 seems like an impossible dream to me now. I'm really troubled. Really. No one seems to understand it at all. I feel damn fucking lonely in the inside.

Yixian & Darrel, thanks.